At 3.34am, xq's been trying to sit on her thoughts/clear her mind of silly thoughts for hours. To not much avail. Shall let this out of my chest before I try to turn in.
It's amazing how the same thing keeps coming back to haunt me.
The root of all dissatisfaction and annoyance.
Of how one's past can keep coming back into my life as well.
There is something I can't comprehend.
Why is it that someone who has exited your life, can seem like they are somewhat still there. As though remnants of their shadows are still lingering around, lurking in the corners of your mind?
Why is it that places/things/events/songs/inanimate objects that have some linkage to past memories of them, trigger some kind of response in you?
Why is it that people avoid any association or the "replay" of such situation(s) when the person is no longer around, and is no longer important in your present life.
To me, avoidance reveals some extent of importance.
The person possibly still mean something to you, if things like that still bother you.
But then again, maybe I've been reading too much into things. Maybe not. Maybe just because such is my perspective, I shouldn't impose my perception unto others. Really wonder, why I could throw whatever past memories I've had, lock them up in a cupboard to be forgotten...and embark on a brand new page--tread towards the present and the future. But this isn't always the "course of action" adopted by others...
Nothing to avoid, for the things bear no significance to me anymore.
Nothing to reminisce, for I know those times hurt more than they mattered.
Moving on involves letting go of every single speck related to the matter.
Being affected by bits and pieces of it, equates to the unwillingness to let go.
Perhaps, those past memories were way too priceless to make room for the present, and the future.
意思浅浅。
Just my two cents worth.
What frightening thoughts, xq stop it. It's way past bedtime.
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