Today's first filming location was at Bukit Batok West Ave 6. The empty field was just directly opposite Blk 298's aka where my grandmother used to stay with my 2 lil cousins, uncle and his ex-wife in happy times.
Didn't feel too good whilst I was there. Knowing that I'll never spend my weekly Saturdays there anymore. Knowing that CNY will never be spent there anymore. I spent my last one there without knowing last year.
Bitter feeling, knowing that Grandma would probably be stuck (to her dismay) for the rest of her life at nursing homes because no one is apparently capable of looking after her 24/7 or willing to undertake sole responsibility to do so. Sometimes makes people wonder, she has 9 children, is it so hard to find just one?
Maybe there are some things that youngsters like us may never understand. But a part of me secretly yearns for greater financial ability so I could bring her to my house and employ a personal nurse for her since half the time, everyone in my house are out at work and we can't leave her alone.
But it'd take me years to attain such financial capability.
haven't had time to visit grandma in 3 weeks. annoying visiting hours of the nursing home. And it's in marsiling. Shall visit her when I'm done with this shoot.
Hmm kinda miss the Marigold 100% apple + grape juice, durian ice cream, neopolitan ice cream, cadbury chocs, pork floss, jelly. The usuals grandma used to flood me with each time I visited her. I haven't touched any of these since the day she was unable to give me such, it's just different to be getting them on my own.
Time flies doesn't it? That fateful night happened in November and it's been 8 months since.
I miss grandma.
It pains me to see her mind deteriorating by the day.
Just feels so utterly helpless as I can't help her in any way, except to hold her hand and listen to her every conversation that speaks of her hallucination 3/4 the time.
3 comments:
Cherish the time that you have, in an urban city like ours, we are always lamenting that we have no time, it is always easier to attribute why we are not doing what we should be doing to external forces. However, at the end of the day, it is us who takes responsibility for how we live our lives.
wahhhhh... another life's philosophy... thanks lau laoshi! Yeah no off days now, will go see her next week!
i know what u mean...my gramps this way too. she's like a kid, telling me to go her house first, can see her mother.Quick go visit your granny lah! Marsiling...sg very small u know!-alex
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