*..What is life?..*

Sometimes I ask myself, what is it I seek in life?
Life after graduation?

Is it passion or bread & butter.
Ideally, it'd be both- bread & butter a subset of passion.
But 1.5 months on, I realize how impossible it is to attain my ideal scenario.

And so I see myself selling myself to work.
Slave to work.
Slave to my employers.
Slave to the Macs.

I've been eating practically every meal in front of the computer when I'm at work, there isn't time to eat out like what normal office workers should do. And that is if I even have time to eat at all.

Hmm I think I've lost another 2-3 kg. Yikes, I will never reach my old weight at the rate I'm going.

Emily's right. My life is unpredictable, shall see how long I can last in this state of life.

I'm not complaining, just maybe whining a little. But sometimes I just feel so deprived of my own time, "me" time, time with family and friends, time with loved ones, leisure time... I feel constantly nervous, anxious and paranoid - because I have to be at so many places within the same day. Or when projects clash, I feel very bothered emotionally as I feel the obligation to be at both places at the same time.

Just as I thought projects are clearing up, new projects creep up and...they are showing signs of clashing already. ARGH, I was super free for the past 3 days and nothing cropped up. But the moment I had something on today, everything just had to coincide somehow or other.

Sometimes I wish...
Life could be more predictable and more stable.

But then again, maybe that's what makes life interesting now.
Like I made 3 new friends today =)

But I'm sad that I got to wake up in 2 hrs' time for work.
Crazy deadlines keep surrounding me.
Like today I had 3 hours to finish a 1st cut for Singtel. CRAZY OR WHAT! Then carolyn and I stayed in office till 3am, because client is viewing it again at friggin 9am tomorrow. And there were quite a lot of changes.

Fingers crossed, feeling really...
unsettled.