A NYC Taxi driver wrote:
I arrived at the address and honked the horn. After waiting a few minutes I honked again. Since this was going to be my last ride of my shift I thought about just driving away, but instead I put the car in park and walked up to the door and knocked.. 'Just a minute', answered a frail, elderly voice. I could hear something being dragged across the floor.
After a long pause, the door opened. A small woman in her 90's stood before me. She was wearing a print dress and a pillbox hat with a veil pinned on it, like somebody out of a 1940's movie.
By her side was a small nylon suitcase. The apartment looked as if no one had lived in it for years. All the furniture was covered with sheets.
There were no clocks on the walls, no knickknacks or utensils on the counters. In the corner was a cardboard
box filled with photos and glassware.
'Would you carry my bag out to the car?' she said. I took the suitcase to the cab, then returned to assist the woman.
She took my arm and we walked slowly toward the curb.
She kept thanking me for my kindness. 'It's nothing', I told her.. 'I just try to treat my passengers the way I would want my mother to be treated.'
'Oh, you're such a good boy, she said. When we got in the cab, she gave me an address and then asked, 'Could you drive
through downtown?'
'It's not the shortest way,' I answered quickly..
'Oh, I don't mind,' she said. 'I'm in no hurry. I'm on my way to a hospice.
I looked in the rear-view mirror. Her eyes were glistening. 'I don't have any family left,' she continued in a soft voice..'The doctor says I don't have very long.' I quietly reached over and shut off the meter.
'What route would you like me to take?' I asked.
For the next two hours, we drove through the city. She showed me the building where she had once worked as an elevator operator.
We drove through the neighborhood where she and her husband had lived when they were newlyweds She had me pull up in front of a furniture warehouse that had once been a ballroom where she had gone dancing as a girl.
Sometimes she'd ask me to slow in front of a particular building or corner and would sit staring into the darkness, saying nothing.
As the first hint of sun was creasing the horizon, she suddenly said, 'I'm tired.Let's go now'.
We drove in silence to the address she had given me. It was a low building, like a small convalescent home, with a driveway that passed under a portico.
Two orderlies came out to the cab as soon as we pulled up. They were solicitous and intent, watching her every move.
They must have been expecting her.
I opened the trunk and took the small suitcase to the door. The woman was already seated in a wheelchair.
'How much do I owe you?' She asked, reaching into her purse.
'Nothing,' I said
'You have to make a living,' she answered.
'There are other passengers,' I responded.
Almost without thinking, I bent and gave her a hug.She held onto me tightly.
'You gave an old woman a little moment of joy,' she said. 'Thank you.'
I squeezed her hand, and then walked into the dim morning light.. Behind me, a door shut.It was the sound of the closing of a life..
I didn't pick up any more passengers that shift. I drove aimlessly lost in thought. For the rest of that day,I could hardly talk.What if that woman had gotten an angry driver,or one who was impatient to end his shift? What if I had refused to take the run, or had honked once, then driven away?
On a quick review, I don't think that I have done anything more important in my life.
We're conditioned to think that our lives revolve around great moments.
But great moments often catch us unaware-beautifully wrapped in what others may consider a small one.
Wednesday, September 05, 2012
Friday, August 17, 2012
*..Breakages..*
Came across this excerpt on facebook, and it reflects the harsh reality of life.
Truly, things break all the time - at times we know not of.
I guess these days, it's easier to let go and take heart that everything should be enjoyed in its moment and it's better not to hanker for greater expectations of the future, lest the possible disappointment that comes along with it.
Books are awesome. They provide endless quotes on the harsh hard truth about life and prepares you for it.
Truly, things break all the time - at times we know not of.
I guess these days, it's easier to let go and take heart that everything should be enjoyed in its moment and it's better not to hanker for greater expectations of the future, lest the possible disappointment that comes along with it.
Books are awesome. They provide endless quotes on the harsh hard truth about life and prepares you for it.
Friday, August 10, 2012
*..Managing Expectations..*
Saw this on someone's fb status and it struck a chord within me.
“That is why it is so important to let certain things go.
To release them.
To cut loose.
People need to understand that no one is playing with marked cards;
sometimes we win and sometimes we lose.
Don’t expect to get anything back,
don’t expect recognition for your efforts,
don’t expect your genius to be discovered or your love to be understood.
Complete the circle.
Not out of pride, inability or arrogance, but simply because whatever it is no longer fits in your life.
Close the door,
change the record,
clean the house,
get rid of the dust.
Stop being who you were and become who you are.”
― Paulo Coelho, The Zahir
“That is why it is so important to let certain things go.
To release them.
To cut loose.
People need to understand that no one is playing with marked cards;
sometimes we win and sometimes we lose.
Don’t expect to get anything back,
don’t expect recognition for your efforts,
don’t expect your genius to be discovered or your love to be understood.
Complete the circle.
Not out of pride, inability or arrogance, but simply because whatever it is no longer fits in your life.
Close the door,
change the record,
clean the house,
get rid of the dust.
Stop being who you were and become who you are.”
― Paulo Coelho, The Zahir
Wednesday, July 25, 2012
*..Pondering..*
Looking back in retrospect, I've come to realize a couple of things - reality checks.
That in life, it requires more than a chanced encounter for 2 people to meet, their paths to cross and stay together from there.
Indeed, destiny is the ultimate basis of the union of 2 people;
Yet, destiny on its own does not suffice for the sustained relationship.
Perhaps, it's not just about perfect timing too;
Yet, the precision of time does play a substantial role somehow.
Destiny without perfect timing results in nothingness aka what we call 有缘无份.
Sometimes, at various points of our lives, we meet like-minded people - people who seemingly are the replica of yourself.
There's an entire universe of topics to yak on and on about, you hit it off instantaneously.
You can read the person inside out and there is pure joy from within with his or her company.
You share a bond so unique and so heart-felt, you cannot bear a day without contact with this person. Or maybe you can get by, but would feel somewhat strange within.
You relish this rare relationship established with this precious gem you've found - yet there is this constant, bugging fear that all of these special memories you share, would one day turn to dust.
That all of this richness, would one day turn to darkness.
That in life, it requires more than a chanced encounter for 2 people to meet, their paths to cross and stay together from there.
Indeed, destiny is the ultimate basis of the union of 2 people;
Yet, destiny on its own does not suffice for the sustained relationship.
Perhaps, it's not just about perfect timing too;
Yet, the precision of time does play a substantial role somehow.
Destiny without perfect timing results in nothingness aka what we call 有缘无份.
Sometimes, at various points of our lives, we meet like-minded people - people who seemingly are the replica of yourself.
There's an entire universe of topics to yak on and on about, you hit it off instantaneously.
You can read the person inside out and there is pure joy from within with his or her company.
You share a bond so unique and so heart-felt, you cannot bear a day without contact with this person. Or maybe you can get by, but would feel somewhat strange within.
You relish this rare relationship established with this precious gem you've found - yet there is this constant, bugging fear that all of these special memories you share, would one day turn to dust.
That all of this richness, would one day turn to darkness.
Monday, June 18, 2012
*..I'm alive!..*
Helloo world,
Been a long time since my last post, things have been happening at whirl-wind pace.. can barely catch up with them myself. All's for the better I guess =)
People came and went, new people entered my life and I'm just really happy and even relieved with how things have come to a new equilibrium. And I've learnt yet another lesson from this whole saga - on how not to blind to circumstances again, and be more selective with the people and relationships I keep close to me.
In short, life right now has never been better since 2012 began. =)
Busy with work, external projects and short films. With my dearest friends whom I finally have time to catch up with, with my beloved family =) Life is busy, but a good kind of busy! Prayers do get answered!
On a sidenote, uncle kx and gang & xq have been intending to set up a site since last year, but apparently ideas are universal and at any one time, 2946578234 other people are harbouring the same thought in their minds coincidentally.
So the sad news, this really cool site was born, by another group of people (of which includes my idol director woo!)
Check this space out!
http://www.sixdegrees.asia
Just created a profile there and it looks like a cool site to stay connected with the rest of the community.
HEH narcissist! like to see my profiles on site and just screenshot them for the fun of it. -_- Not all that narcissistic cos I didn't dare upload a profile picture on the site. Hmm I need to have some random photoshoot for a proper profile picture I guess!
Anyways, the site's home page has some really hilarious quotes to do with freelancers' myths. SO TRUE, cracked me up when I read them.
Finally, the last 2 images... THAT ARE SO TRUE...
Really gets on my nerves when relatives ask me what I'm working as at family gatherings all the time and go: "Oh freelancing ah, then when are you going to start a proper job?" -_-
Or better still, "When are you starting work for real?"
Here's to all of them, for the umpteenth time! Grrrrr!
That's all folks! Off to watch my ou xiang ju! =) I shall only watch one episode and go to bed, lest I die at office while editing tomorrow. Exercise discipline, xq!
Well I did! I almost procrastinated, but managed to reply my 35 emails all at one go just now =)
BYEEEEE, as we bid goodbye to a good week that has passed us by...and embrace the new and boundless week ahead =)
Goodnight world!
Been a long time since my last post, things have been happening at whirl-wind pace.. can barely catch up with them myself. All's for the better I guess =)
People came and went, new people entered my life and I'm just really happy and even relieved with how things have come to a new equilibrium. And I've learnt yet another lesson from this whole saga - on how not to blind to circumstances again, and be more selective with the people and relationships I keep close to me.
In short, life right now has never been better since 2012 began. =)
Busy with work, external projects and short films. With my dearest friends whom I finally have time to catch up with, with my beloved family =) Life is busy, but a good kind of busy! Prayers do get answered!
On a sidenote, uncle kx and gang & xq have been intending to set up a site since last year, but apparently ideas are universal and at any one time, 2946578234 other people are harbouring the same thought in their minds coincidentally.
So the sad news, this really cool site was born, by another group of people (of which includes my idol director woo!)
Check this space out!
http://www.sixdegrees.asia
Just created a profile there and it looks like a cool site to stay connected with the rest of the community.
HEH narcissist! like to see my profiles on site and just screenshot them for the fun of it. -_- Not all that narcissistic cos I didn't dare upload a profile picture on the site. Hmm I need to have some random photoshoot for a proper profile picture I guess!
Anyways, the site's home page has some really hilarious quotes to do with freelancers' myths. SO TRUE, cracked me up when I read them.
Finally, the last 2 images... THAT ARE SO TRUE...
Really gets on my nerves when relatives ask me what I'm working as at family gatherings all the time and go: "Oh freelancing ah, then when are you going to start a proper job?" -_-
Or better still, "When are you starting work for real?"
Here's to all of them, for the umpteenth time! Grrrrr!
That's all folks! Off to watch my ou xiang ju! =) I shall only watch one episode and go to bed, lest I die at office while editing tomorrow. Exercise discipline, xq!
Well I did! I almost procrastinated, but managed to reply my 35 emails all at one go just now =)
BYEEEEE, as we bid goodbye to a good week that has passed us by...and embrace the new and boundless week ahead =)
Goodnight world!
Saturday, March 03, 2012
*..A Hundred Days..*
It's been a hundred days, and I've been kept busy by work and people.
Thought I'd take some time out to browse through the folder of photographs and videos I took of you in the past couple of years, and it hit me more badly than expected. All I wanted was to relive moments spent with you, and to reminisce memories of you. But I got more than what I'd hoped for.
There was a strange, inexplicable tingling sensation from within;
My heart wrenched;
Tightness in the throat;
My mind was racing with an avalanche of memories.
And I couldn't stop tearing as I watched the clips.
I didn't realize how much I've missed you.
Fridays are no longer the same anymore, just cos I used to visit you every Friday.
A 100 days, but I didn't miss you a hundred times less.
Somehow, it feels like you're so close by as the videos of you drew me in with your voice and smile.
It's like watching you talking to me directly, in real life.
I miss you, Ah Ma.
And I will see you when the time comes.
Thanks for watching over us all this while, and hope you're happy with Ah Gong in the netherworld.
On another note, Cecilia was telling us about this verse the other day.
2 Peter 3:8 - But, beloved, do not forget this one thing, that with the Lord one day is as a thousand years, and a thousand years as one day.
Indeed, we'll join you before you even know.
For time's passage is insignificant in heaven.
Monday, January 30, 2012
*..When routines become a part of you..*
At various stages of our lives, a "foreign body" enters our life cycle and we decide whether to make time for these new occurrences. After all, all things are possible as long as the mind is willing to make time out for anyone or anything at all - for time is a controllable variable.
Once you introduce these new people and activities into your life, you'll have to push away the old to make room for the new. You compromise and come to a standstill, where you attempt to manage a balance between the old and the new.
Subconsciously, this comes to an eventual equilibrium where you have successfully integrated the new into your current lifestyle. This is when you have fully assimilated new habits and blended them perfectly into your life routine.
Until one day, a change enters your routine and disrupts the chain of events.
That's when things go haywire, and routines get messed up.
I've been feeling strange ever since I got back from my 1 week trip. It feels as though this 1 week away from civilization and the interference from my daily routine has created an impact so irreversible, things can somewhat never be the same again, hard as I try to replicate them.
Because in the event that one's routine gets interrupted by external factors, so does the routine of those around that person. Likewise, my disappearance from everyone's lives this one week seems to have some sort of strange repercussions on the relationships between me and the people around me.
It's sad, but that's the sad fact of life I guess - that nothing is permanent. That everything is but temporal.
Which brings me to this thought...
How nice it would be if we could just immerse ourselves in a specific moment, imprint it in our minds and just savour every second of it. For we know not of when these moments would slip us by, and we know not of when the people around us will leave us.
Yes it's sad, but that's the harsh reality of life.
And when routines are lost, you eventually lose a part of yourself too.
If only all things remained at equilibrium, all through our life cycle.
Once you introduce these new people and activities into your life, you'll have to push away the old to make room for the new. You compromise and come to a standstill, where you attempt to manage a balance between the old and the new.
Subconsciously, this comes to an eventual equilibrium where you have successfully integrated the new into your current lifestyle. This is when you have fully assimilated new habits and blended them perfectly into your life routine.
Until one day, a change enters your routine and disrupts the chain of events.
That's when things go haywire, and routines get messed up.
I've been feeling strange ever since I got back from my 1 week trip. It feels as though this 1 week away from civilization and the interference from my daily routine has created an impact so irreversible, things can somewhat never be the same again, hard as I try to replicate them.
Because in the event that one's routine gets interrupted by external factors, so does the routine of those around that person. Likewise, my disappearance from everyone's lives this one week seems to have some sort of strange repercussions on the relationships between me and the people around me.
It's sad, but that's the sad fact of life I guess - that nothing is permanent. That everything is but temporal.
Which brings me to this thought...
How nice it would be if we could just immerse ourselves in a specific moment, imprint it in our minds and just savour every second of it. For we know not of when these moments would slip us by, and we know not of when the people around us will leave us.
Yes it's sad, but that's the harsh reality of life.
And when routines are lost, you eventually lose a part of yourself too.
If only all things remained at equilibrium, all through our life cycle.
Sunday, January 22, 2012
*..To all the paranoid people out there..*
My previous 2 posts were about letting myself and my parents down in matters to do with my career, or rather the lack of it, to speak of. Specifically, being stuck in doing what I don't really like (editing), rather than taking the risk and pursue something I really do like (producing). So hello there, don't jump to conclusions if you're uncertain of my subject matter.
Just thought I should spell things out lest people point accusational fingers at me just 'cos I decide to blog in a less outright manner. After all, this is all for my own eyes and an outlet for my inner thoughts, it doesn't matter if you misinterpret what I write about...but I decided to clarify just cos I'm too tired of this vicious cycle.
Seriously hate people accusing me. For the umpteenth time now.
If you know me well enough, you'd know what I'm referring to from the way I phrase my incidents/thoughts. If you doubt my intentions, then sorry, I guess you just don't know me that well after all.
Goodbye all, xq will be away without internet access from 22-27th Jan to Hainan Island. I guess this is a good break to get my mind off so many things, and probably probe on some prevailing issues and source an answer/course of action when I get back.
Hate people accusing me of something I never do, really. It's almost like an insult to accuse me. Something I cannot stand, amidst my strong tolerance and patience.
Just thought I should spell things out lest people point accusational fingers at me just 'cos I decide to blog in a less outright manner. After all, this is all for my own eyes and an outlet for my inner thoughts, it doesn't matter if you misinterpret what I write about...but I decided to clarify just cos I'm too tired of this vicious cycle.
Seriously hate people accusing me. For the umpteenth time now.
If you know me well enough, you'd know what I'm referring to from the way I phrase my incidents/thoughts. If you doubt my intentions, then sorry, I guess you just don't know me that well after all.
Goodbye all, xq will be away without internet access from 22-27th Jan to Hainan Island. I guess this is a good break to get my mind off so many things, and probably probe on some prevailing issues and source an answer/course of action when I get back.
Hate people accusing me of something I never do, really. It's almost like an insult to accuse me. Something I cannot stand, amidst my strong tolerance and patience.
Saturday, January 21, 2012
*..Give Thanks..*
Back in PL days, I used to have a favourite song amongst many.
I used to hum it on my way back home, before I sleep, whenever I'm feeling afraid and despondent from the pressures of life...
I used to vent my worries by playing the tune on the piano when I'm alone at home, and singing to it...
Somehow, the song never fails to soothe my emotions.
I realize I haven't been doing (all of) the above in a long while, but today I received the answer to my prayers for the longest time. =)
My heart fluttered and I was almost delirious. It was a dream come true, I wanted to shout for joy.
I guess it's true, about how patience is virtue.
About how when we don't get one thing we most desire, it is not "never" but "not yet". About how His plans for us get revealed in perfect timing.
"God will make a way,
When there seems to be no way;
He works in ways we cannot see,
He will make a way for us.
He will be my guide,
Hold me closely to his side;
With love and strength for each new day,
He will make a way;
He will make a way."
Everything in His time, indeed.
With this, life would be perfect soon enough. =)
So I guess, I'm about to fulfill one of my 2012 resolutions! The year looks promising and exciting enough already =)
I used to hum it on my way back home, before I sleep, whenever I'm feeling afraid and despondent from the pressures of life...
I used to vent my worries by playing the tune on the piano when I'm alone at home, and singing to it...
Somehow, the song never fails to soothe my emotions.
I realize I haven't been doing (all of) the above in a long while, but today I received the answer to my prayers for the longest time. =)
My heart fluttered and I was almost delirious. It was a dream come true, I wanted to shout for joy.
I guess it's true, about how patience is virtue.
About how when we don't get one thing we most desire, it is not "never" but "not yet". About how His plans for us get revealed in perfect timing.
"God will make a way,
When there seems to be no way;
He works in ways we cannot see,
He will make a way for us.
He will be my guide,
Hold me closely to his side;
With love and strength for each new day,
He will make a way;
He will make a way."
Everything in His time, indeed.
With this, life would be perfect soon enough. =)
So I guess, I'm about to fulfill one of my 2012 resolutions! The year looks promising and exciting enough already =)
Friday, January 20, 2012
*..When sorry isn't enough..*
Sometimes, I can be such a total letdown to the people around me - my loved ones, my cherished friends and so many more.
Sometimes, even the most sincere apology cannot do justice to the emotional hurt I've inflicted on these people.
Sometimes, I wish I can live up to everyone's expectations and lead a rosy life, in accordance to what my heart desires.
There are only so many sorry-s I can say, and ultimately, it is but a worthless and cheap word.
Feels lousy when deep within me, I know that "sorry" doesn't cure. Yet, I can only watch on helplessly. Or rather, a part of me looks on in cluelessness.
"Sorry" is but a mere word we use in consolation to ourselves when we've done something to upset another person. Sometimes, you just wish the person wouldn't forgive you, so it redeems yourself a little.
Or maybe not.
Argh, the irony.
Sometimes, even the most sincere apology cannot do justice to the emotional hurt I've inflicted on these people.
Sometimes, I wish I can live up to everyone's expectations and lead a rosy life, in accordance to what my heart desires.
There are only so many sorry-s I can say, and ultimately, it is but a worthless and cheap word.
Feels lousy when deep within me, I know that "sorry" doesn't cure. Yet, I can only watch on helplessly. Or rather, a part of me looks on in cluelessness.
"Sorry" is but a mere word we use in consolation to ourselves when we've done something to upset another person. Sometimes, you just wish the person wouldn't forgive you, so it redeems yourself a little.
Or maybe not.
Argh, the irony.